Read The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves By Curt Thompson MD

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The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves-Curt Thompson MD

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The Gospel Coalition Top Books of 2015 in Faith and WorkHearts Minds Bookstore's Best Books of 2015, Applied Theology, Basic Christian Living, Whole Life DiscipleshipOutreach Magazine's Resources of the YearWe're all infected with a spiritual disease. Its name is shame. Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life.Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame, based on years of researching its damaging effects and counseling people to overcome those wounds.Thompson's expertise and compassion will help you identify your own pains and struggles and find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that bind you. Rewrite the story of your life and embrace healing and wholeness as you discover and defeat shame's insidious agenda.

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Obviously, the dude is a Christian and he writes with the intent to help people deal with the universal problem of shame. I gather that one of the overarching themes of this book is that shame is best dealt with and healed when it is brought out in the open and within a community.I have to say that I currently deeply disagree with the premise of this book with regards to it being realized in real life. I might go as far to say that the underpinnings of this book are contradictory and are are very dangerous and damaging when you try to use them in the real world. In reality/real world:1. Most people are uncomfortable with talking about the fact that they go to a therapist or that they have a mental illness. It is looked down upon in our culture to admit to these things.2. People in American culture are treated like objects designed for efficiency and pleasure. This is not going to stop. People are not going to start magically being accepting of people who can’t measure up to standards. That’s just not how life works. The reality is people want results and they don’t care about your humanity or your effort.I’m not of the persuasion that Christianity is going to suddenly do a major overhaul of these grotesque phenomena. Maybe I’m in love with the ideas of Christianity, but get frustrated because they can’t actually be realized and I think it is cruel and unreasonable to assert that they can. Besides, If everyone ascribed to the vulnerability that Dr. Thompson lauds, Dr. Thompson and other psychology professionals would be out of a job.He spend parts of the book touting himself by telling all these success stories of patients who are suddenly gushing success after a tango or two with a christian psychiatrist and magic counseling fairy dust. No one is going to read a book that does not show successful results. Dr. Thomson has to talk about his results, he can’t just talk about his effort like he wants his patients and teachers in the school systems to do. If he isn’t actually producing positive results in his practice, who cares about his efforts? I found that section of the book hypocritical and deeply unrealistic.If I could truly be vulnerable and experience healing from bringing my shame out into the open for everyone to see, I wouldn’t want to read these self-help books. This observation blows a major hole in Dr. Thompson’s argument. Additionally, licenced professionals are being paid to sit and listen to people’s problems and write books. Money and malpractice laws prevent a licenced professional from going and gossiping about your problems with other people. No one wants to hear your tale of woe unless you are a psychologist or a therapist and the last time I checked they don’t work for free.Dr. Thomson advocates for building communities in which you can be vulnerable so that you are not airing your dirty laundry in front of any person. But here’s the rub: people can turn on you at any time. And if you don’t have money and malpractice laws to tame them, you’re toast. It’s like befriending a lion until it gets hungry and you’re the only meat around. How do you get to a point where you feel safe enough to show someone your wounds? You can’t and anyone who claims otherwise wants to manipulate you.I hold this view currently because of several things both from my own experience and things that I have observed. A major rupture and subsequent dissolution in a cherished relationship has been the cornerstone of my resolve in not trusting people and to go back into hiding with fervent joy. Becoming vulnerable with one of the most painful aspects of my life sent my inner world into a soul-numbing lock down.Reading books and posting anonymous reviews has helped me to be vulnerable without being known. That flies in the face of everything that this book is about. For whatever reason, the Christian community is absolutely obsessed with the concept of vulnerability to an almost masochistic degree. They want to know that you are hurting so that they can hurt you even more.In conclusion, I recommend this book only with the intent to think about and explore its contents, but not to actually apply the ideas that are in it. I appreciated the scientific aspect of the book and the limping and embarrassed "Restroom Man" on the front cover.
If you've read Brene, you know that everything she write or says is worthwhile. Add to her work some brain research and the backdrop of the Story of Scripture, and you get The Soul of Shame. Well written, insightful, Biblical, and practical, Curt Thompson has given us a book that any group would benefit from. Potentially transformative stuff (if practiced!).

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